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Packing Pigs Proposed

JEFFERSON CITY - With just days left before the Missouri legislature's May 17 adjournment, lawmakers have begun loading bills up with amendments on unrelated issues in effort to save ideas for which time is running out.

One staffer has come up with what might be the perfect solution for rolling the entire 1996 session into one all-encompassing bill:

"Non-Married same sex pigs, may carry concealed weapons only if they have attended a safe school in a flood plain area and have been counseled by a volunteer on the alternatives to abortion through an unnamed source. They may also apply for tax credits from the state for any land or monetary contribution made to the state or local governments, soil conservation, cemeteries or children who have not visited the state capitol during the last two weeks of the legislative session."